Gearing yourself up for a difficult conversation is never easy. Whether it’s with a parent, a partner, or your confrontational child, we can all find ourselves tongue-tied and out-played by a better debater. So what if that tricky conversation needs to involve a professional relationship, and a sensitive topic you fear might undermine your current career standing? Research consistently shows that even in an age of society talking so much more about mental health, employees still feel anxious about speaking out on this topic to their boss. Changing this, for the most part, lies with the culture created within a business, and the way in which leaders and line managers are encouraged to adopt appropriate strategies to compassionately hear the experiences of their staff. Having said that, even if your corporate culture seems to be somewhat less than perfect on this area of sensitivity, it is certainly NOT a reason to deny yourself the opportunity to speak out and reflect your health status. By sharing your story, and allowing your manager to understand your state of wellbeing, you play a role in ensuring that others are subsequently well supported too. Before you even engage in the conversation with your employer, take time to think about what it is you want to say, where and how you might say it. Prepare by making some notes if it helps – reflecting on what impact your issues are having, and why you think they need addressing. Think also about what you might want to hear from your employer. Are you seeking time away from work altogether to recover, or do you need ‘reasonable adjustments’ to your daily activities and responsibilities? For some, it feels naturally more appropriate to attend an appointment with a medical practitioner first, perhaps to confirm in a healthcare setting, what it is you are feeling and thinking. If this is the case, know that if you share your clinician’s advice, you are protected by law from discrimination on these grounds, and it is upon your employer to seek to do all they can to support you. You may also want to preface your conversation by exploring what healthcare support is available to employees like you. Is there an employee assistance package in place, which you might want to access? When it comes to the ‘actual conversation’, do make sure you block time with your employer and schedule the chance to have such a confidential and important moment. You don’t want to be having such a chat in a busy corridor, or to do so in the canteen, because that’s the only place you think your manager will give you five minutes of their time. Remember also that you are perfectly entitled to request that the chat happens with another party present – perhaps your HR advisor, or an employee engagement lead in your firm. During the conversation, try to cast aside any sense of embarrassment, and certainly don’t feel you need to underplay your true state of wellbeing. Being candid really counts, and a good employer will certainly not be passing judgment on you. Try to conclude the meeting with a sense of what each party has said they will do – and by when. This can help everyone to reflect on necessary actions and to follow-up in a timely way. You may also want to quickly take note of what was said, and in particular ‘what was promised’, just in case you should experience difficulties in receiving ongoing support and understanding from the business and its leaders. Above all, remember that mental health issues are extremely common, and that you do yourself, your employer, your colleagues, or your family or friends, no good whatsoever to mask your state of health. Author Credit – Deborah Watson Image provided by MAD-HR
